BIBLICAL HEBREW & ARAMAIC by Larry A. Mitchel: A Guest Review by Robert John Huffine

 

In his 'General Orientation' on page xiii, Note 2, Mr. Mitchel points out that (non-vowel) which he calls a ''Sewa," but that's just Book-ese and should have been pronounced like Biblical Israelis and Modern would: "SchVAH." It's realistic and unpretentious sounding and I mean to say 'come on; we're not teaching the Romans how to speak Hebrew now, are we?' Other than this, I'm scanning this over for a few hours last night; and either I've missed it or I can't find a single mistake in it. But I'm just beginning the intermediate stages of understanding Modern Israeli Writing. Taking myself into an honest accounting for what I don't know thoroughly enough, I went from page one, making a list and by the time I hit page eighteen, I had counted 32 words and it fell on "Bal," a word of negation; "Not, surely?" and it's the 6th word from the top left side. Alphanumerically, it comes to 32. Funny ain't it? This number went higher to the end of the 19th page, where my total ignorance of words to that point, was 48. See that? 19. 48. Do I have too much time on my hands or what? According to one source, if a beginner learns just the 25 words on page 1, they will be able to immediately read 43% of the Tanakh as a whole. So get this neat little book, which will fit neatly into your man-bag or purse and easily so. If you use a good hi-lighter lightly on these pages, they shouldn't bleed through: Good paper for penning small notes.



THE NEW TESTAMENT IN HEBREW & ENGLISH: A Guest Review by Robert John Huffine

 

This is the Salkinson-Ginsburg Hebrew Language New Testament which comes with a King Jinx aVersion (yes it's a partially messed-with Translation, hence the renaming by me, to King Jinx and hey it less dirtier than "Sling Jizz," am I right? Knowing Ezekiel 16:17, people, please don't. Be. Offended. When those of you who can read Mishnaic Hebrew see this book, you'll understand why the memory of King Jinx deserves to be cursed. Just read Romans 6:17 and 1 John 5: 7,8 as two examples. More than 5% of Phillipians has been messed with as well as Mattityahu 24:15. As in Purim with Blessed Mordechai and Curse-ed Haman, from this Edition I could sing the Praises to God, while Cursing the Ignorant Gentile King of England , drunk OR sober!

HEBREW VERB TABLES by Asher Tarmon & Ezri Uval: A Guest Review by Robert John Huffine

As an everyday student of Hebrew Language and Grammar, I use this constantly and have referenced it thousands of times. However, there are two problems with it, one of which for myself and BY myself, has been corrected. This first problem is that NONE of the Verb Tables at the top give you the English definition for the Verb being conjugated. Using the book itself and being very careful to not get it wrong, I referenced each Root and wrote it's corresponding English Verb, penciling it in at the top of each of the 235 Tables. Yeah, I know, right? Tough job. It took me about 3 days to finish that neat little adventure, but was well worth it in my opinion. The next problem is a simple printing error at Table 36 in the Pa'al Section, "L'seyt=To Bear, To Carry, To Marry." In it's future tense, the SHE form is deleted (but is exactly the same as the HE form, future) and is replaced by the WE form. So instead of "Teesa'," you find "Neesa'." Otherwise, this is not that big of a deal: The former was deleted and was replaced by the latter. So that you'll also notice in that Table (36) that the WE form, future tense, is blank. Printing error.

MODERN HEBREW: An Essential Grammer by Lewis Glinert: A Guest Review by Robert John Huffine

 

I've had Mr. Glinert's books now for over ten years. He's the 'Gandalf the Gray' of Teaching Hebrew to English speaking students. I have found NO MISTAKES in his publications. Everything is Vowel-Pointed. There are Exercises and as the back of the book says; "a richly varied vocabulary ranging from the elegant to the very colloquial(everyday, mundane) . I'm always surprised and not pleasantly so, either, that the "Leaders" and "Teachers" of and in the Hebrew Roots Movement are never, and I do mean NEVER prescribing to their fellow congregants, these kinds of excellent learning materials! Must be a "Control--Issue," you think? Don't let them Sheeple know more than the Mean, Heartless Wolves do..! This book is equally recommended for Beginners as well as Advanced. One of the best, if not THE best book on Hebrew Language and Grammar I've ever seen or heard about. 10 out of 10 Stars in MY category! Lewis Glinert is Professor of Hebrew Studies, Dartmouth College, New Hampshire.



DO AS I SAY (NOT AS I DO): Profiles In Liberal Hypocrisy by Peter Schweiser: A Review

 

Do As I Say (Not As I Do) is a book written by author Peter Schweiser that details what he describes as the blatant "liberal hypocrisy" of such noted left-wingers like Ralph Nader, Nancy Pelosi, Barbra Streisand, Michael Moore, Al Franken (who, of course, wrote the earlier-reviewed the appropriately-titled Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot), the late Ted Kennedy and Bill & Hillary Clinton, among others. Among Peter's contentions are how noted lauded "leftie" author Noam Chomsky has accepted money from the very institutions he routinely criticizes like the Pentagon and/or Noam's fellow lauded "leftie" controversial documentary filmmaker Michael Moore's foundation owning stock in companies such as noted war-mongering Halliburton--whom Moore once denounced as being run by a bunch of "thugs" for their blatant war profiteering in places like Iraq and Afghanistan--even though he prominently stated in his book Stupid White Men (of which I intend to "review" at a later date) how, and I quote, "I don't own a single share of stock." While Peter might be admittedly splitting hairs somewhat on the Moore "stock" issue, this book is still an interesting read for those who detest hypocrisy of ANY political kind (like, of course, yours truly!). 

RUSH LIMBAUGH IS A BIG FAT IDIOT & Other Observations by Al Franken: A Review

 

Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot & Other Observations is the book that put Saturday Night Live alumnus Al Franken on the literary map. In the book, which was released back in the mid-nineties, Franken--who's unabashedly left-wing/Democrat--seriously lampoons not only Mr. Rush but also the top right-wingers/Republicans of the day, including Pat Buchanan (by showing what aa apparent "Nazi lover" he is), former Republican senator/congressman Phil Gramm (by showing what a "bastard" he was), Bob Dole, and the irrepressible Newt Gingrich (yes, THAT Newt Gingrich!). But Al saves his sharpest barbs for the book's title target Mr. Limbaugh to hilarious effect. My own personal political views are neither left-wing nor right-wing, and I view Al Franken as a Kool-Aid drinker for The Left--especially since becoming a Democratic senator in his own right--the same way I view Rush Limbaugh as a diehard Kool-Aid drinker for The Right. Still, Franken makes some pretty spot-on "observations" about Rush Limbaugh and his "bastard" co-horts and/or allies on The Right. This book is for anyone who despises the blatant hypocrisies and/or lies of various media/political figures in this country regardless of what their stated political views may be (like, of course, yours truly!). A sidenote: As one might expect, The Right were none too pleased about having one of their own so horribly "slandered" by the "liberal" likes of some "leftie" as Al Franken (the aforementioned Bill O'Reilly had "slandered" Al on his TV show by calling him a "vicious" commentator), especially Mr. Limbaugh himself. All of which was more than a little ironic considering how Rush has made a virtual career out of "slandering" others, including a then 12-year-old Chelsea Clinton whom Limbaugh actually referred to on his long-defunct TV show--yes, someone actually gave this "big fat idiot" his very own TV show!--as, and I quote, the White House dog, as Al himself pointed out in his book. Of course, Al's fellow "lefties" who tried to unsuccessfully run Rush off the radio years later after he "slandered" that "unknown" college student who testified before Congress about government funding of birth control by calling her a "prostitute" literally applauded when one of their own Bill Maher "slandered" Sarah Palin--yes, THAT Sarah Palin!--by calling her The "C" Word (and we all know what THAT word is, don't we, boys & girls?). 

FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC by V.C. Andrews: A Review

 

Flowers In The Attic was the debut novel of the late V.C. Andrews. It tells the story of the Dollanganger family as told by 12-year-old Cathy. Facing financial destitution, Cathy's mother tries to get back on her ailing father's good graces in an attempt to get a lofty inheritance. Apparently she "shamed" her family by marrying and having children--including Cathy, her older brother and fraternal twins--with her very own cousin. However, in order to do that, she agrees to have their spiteful grandmother-- who's a religious nut-case who looks upon them as if they were spawned from the Devil himself--lock them away in the attic to keep them out of sight of her husband who apparently has no knowledge of his own grandchildren's existence. At first, the children's mother visits them regularly and lavishes them with expensive gifts and keeps assuring them that soon her father will be gone and she'll receive a sizable inheritance and she can take them away so they can live a better life. However, her visits become more and more infrequent until she stops visiting them altogether. When she does start seeing them again, she announces that she got married to her father's attorney, much to her children's surprise and chagrin. It's during this time that Cathy and her older brother Chris become closer and closer, and it's their increasing "closeness" which leads to one of the more disturbing passages in the book (and I believe I'll just let you read that for yourself, all right?). Eventually the children discover that they're slowly being poisoned by their evil abusive grandmother and their own mother and they hatch a plan to escape the attic, which leads to some tragic consequences (and, again, I'll let you read the book to find out what those "consequences" are, OK?). This book, as you can probably already tell, can be rather disturbing at times and is probably not for the easily-offended, especially about religious matters. V.C. Andrews's books, as regular readers of her novels can no doubt attest, follow the same theme, i.e. seriously effed-up families who usually have some serious religious issues. (It kind of makes one wonder if Miss Andrews was writing from "personal" experience, if you know what I mean.) This book was also made into a rather lackluster movie starring Kristy Swanson (who's perhaps best known for starring in the movie version of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and the Ashton Kutcher vehicle Dude, Where's My Car?). A sidenote: After the death of V.C. Andrews, her books were so popular that her family decided to hire a ghostwriter to continue writing books under her name supposedly based on her own story ideas and such (as her many legions of fans will probably already know).